An Open Letter To The City of Detroit…

♣ Congratulations! You Got The Job. Now Don’t (Expletive) It Up! ♣

“You’re a fighter, you’re a lover/You’re strong and you recover/From whatever gets you down…”

—Sammy Davis Jr., Hello Detroit (1984)

CHICAGO — That is the opening line of a song that started many of my mornings as a little boy. Every morning for nearly 20 years in Detroit, that song opened up the Mason in the Morning show on WJLB (Yes, the Mason that those outside Detroit know as the “DEEEE-TROIT BASKET-BALL” guy). The song, which was Sammy’s ode to Motown after being signed to the label in 1983, became a Detroit feel-good anthem. Ask anyone who grew up in Detroit or lived in Detroit during the 80s and 90s, and they can give you the first verse of that song off rip. The 1980s were far from Detroit’s best years. In fact, they may have been our worst. But there was still a pride in the city. There was some semblance of confidence that the City could fight back after the riots and racism of the 60s and the exodus of people and business, rampant crime, and subsequent collapse of the 1970s. The problem is, aside from a brief rally in the mid 1990s, Detroit has yet to recover from the 1970s. In fact, unlike the 1980s, it appears that people are on the verge of giving up. That’s what makes what transpired in this week’s originally scheduled general elections so amazingly huge, and potentially Detroit’s last shot at redemption.

Doing The Right Thing: My Beef w/Tyler Perry…

♣ We Can Do Better All By Ourselves ♣

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

DETROIT — It has been just over a month since I last checked in with you guys in the bloggosphere. For that, I sincerely apologize. But now that I’m back, I’m here to put a foot up the ass of someone who has been dodging it for a long time. That man is Tyler Perry. I know what you’re probably thinking: “But Jay, his movies are so touching and uplifting and they have a really valid, positive message that everyone can relate to.” The problem is, while that may be true, I can never seem to get to the proverbial “knowing is half the battle” moment in any of his televised/motion picture fecal matter because I’m too busy being assailed and bombarded by just about every modern negative black stereotype you can think of, with the ringmaster of this circus loudly prancing around like a taller, lighter, slightly younger version of Flavor Flav wearing your Grandmother’s Dress and a wig instead of a Viking helmet and a clock.

On The Clock: How The Detroit Lions Have Made Losing An Art Form…

♣ You Would Think That We Would Be Used To This… ♣

“You must never be satisfied with losing. You must get angry, terribly angry, about losing.”

—Richard Nixon

DETROIT — The Detroit Lions are the one team in Detroit and the state of Michigan that can galvanize the entire state. For the last 10 years, that has been akin to organizing a lynch mob. The Lions have not always been this horrible. I mean, they have been bad, but this decade (save for 2000) has been legendarily bad. It looks even worse coming out of arguably their most successful decade since the NFL-AFL merger, the 1990s, which saw the Lions post five winning seasons (1991,’93-’95, ‘97) and make the playoffs six times (‘91,’93-’95, ‘97, ‘99). That 1991 team went 12-4 behind the likes of Rodney Peete, Erik Kramer, Chris Spielman, Ray Crockett, rookie reciever Herman Moore, and some 3rd-year running back named Barry Sanders. They fell one win short of the Super Bowl, losing to the Washington Redskins in the NFC Title Game. Their worst seasons were three 5-11 years (‘92, ‘96, ‘98) that were quickly turned around the next year. While the ’90s Lions won no championships (and just one playoff game), they were actually pretty fun to watch. Horribly Frustrating, but fun nonetheless. Now however…not so much.

JSC Throwback: Whatever Happened To Standards (Part I: Women)

SOUTHFIELD, Mich. — In the wake of the bloggage I just dropped a couple of days ago about last week’s a-hole all-star game with Congressman Joe, Kanye, and Serena (and lost in all that was the rather infamous United States Championship Worthy A-Hole Speech given by Michael Jordan as he entered the Basketball Hall of Fame) got me to thinking about a blog I wrote in August of 2007 about the degeneration of our standards. This, along with a rather disturbing conversation I recently had where two young women were trying to convince me that there are points in time when it’s cool for a man to hit a woman (a la Chris Brown & Rihanna), made me dip back into the archives and drop it on you first timers here on JSC. It was a two-part blog series, where the first dealt with women, and the second dealt with Men. Just as I did back then, I’m leading off with the ladies first. Remember, this was written two years ago, thus explaining the references to the then yet-to-air Flavor of Love 3 and the infamously controversial and short-lived BET show Hot Ghetto Mess. So without further ado, from 8/30/2007, let’s get it together people and start aiming a lot higher!

Pardon The Interruption: Respect Takes a Vacation…

♣ Just Because You Think It, Doesn’t Mean You Have To Say It…♣

“I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”

— Jackie Robinson

DETROIT — I will be the first to admit that I have not always been the nicest guy in the world nor have I always said the nicest things. I freely admit that I have been an asshole at various stretches of my now 30 years and, as such, I know an asshole when I see one. Last week we were introduced to three different kinds of asshole behavior on three very different but public arenas. Each was egregious in its own special way and included a brand new face, one you unexpectedly saw lose it, and one of the usual suspects. Obviously I’m talking about Congressman Joe Wilson (R-S. Carolina), Tennis Superstar Serena Willams, and Rapper/Producer/Egomaniac Kanye West. Each of them acted like an a-hole last week. But there are varying levels of asshole-edness that were exemplified by each of them last week, and what better place than JSC than to break it down. This is a non-scientific analysis of the level of true asshole that each of these people exemplified in the last week ranking from 3 down to 1 (With #1 being the most offensive).

Fear of a Black President II: You Must Learn…

♦ Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Step In The Classroom…♦

“An Educated Man is Always The Most Dangerous. Why do you think people try so hard to keep us dumb?”

—Christine Smith, aka Mom Dukes.

DETROIT — When I was in high school, oh so many years ago, every day before third hour  we would sit in class and watch this mini-newscast called Channel 1. Channel 1 usually talked about the major stories of the previous day and was anchored by a couple of familiar names: Lisa Ling and Anderson Cooper. It lasted between 5 and 10 minutes, and it was mainly a waste of the first few minutes of class. When we would have guest speakers in class, usually city officials or someone giving a special presentation, it would usually hold our attention for about 5-15 minutes, before we were off in our own world (I would usually be writing poetry, or drawing up football plays). However, if the President of the United States (who at the time was Bill Clinton) wanted to come speak to us, or  had an important message for the nation’s students, I can guarantee it would’ve been met with anything ranging from approval from parents to random indifference. Same thing would’ve applied to any of the other presidents of my lifetime: Carter, Reagan, Bush 41 and Bush 43. Strangely though, when President Barack Obama decided to give an opening day speech to the nation’s students about the importance of education, something that everyone not named Sarah Palin claims they are in agreement is a positive thing, it kicked off another edition of the fake outrage machine, this time driven by the right wing-nuts Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin, and the rest of the Republican Party and sponsored by News Corp and Fox News. And of course, thousands fell for it.

Reality Check: The Truth Can Set Detroit Free…

♣ They Say The Truth Hurts…♣

“Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit.”

— Edward R. Murrow

DETROIT — Just another month in the Motor City. Just after midnight on August 1, a 24-year-old woman was shot and killed in an armed robbery attempt in Detroit. The perpetrator, DeMarco Harris is a 6′2″, 155lb black male. He is also 12-years-old. On August 15, 86-year-old Clarence Jones was murdered in a robbery attempt while watching the home of a hospitalized friend. Jones was beaten to death for his wallet and a minivan. The perp was a 19-year-old. On August 21, two teens wearing red bandanas and wielding shotguns, one 17 and the other 16, rob two members of a film crew (in broad daylight) who was in Detroit to shoot a movie called “Little Murder” (no bullsh*t!). While the robbery victims were not harmed, one of the teens was shot by police as he fled because he had the equally bright idea to point his gun at a cop. The two were arrested and charged with multiple felonies. Earlier this week, another 17-year-old attempted to rob a 32-year-old man as he tried to walk back into his apartment. Only problem: The 32 year old man had a CCW and a Gun. The perp turned victim and now is facing attempted armed robbery charges after the doctor pulls that bullet out of his ass! This all goes on as the city collectively keeps it head buried in the sand…or up certain orifices in their posterior.

Shot Down: Plaxico Burress & His Legacy of Stupid…

♣ I Kinda Saw This Coming…♣

“Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!”

— George Carlin

EAST LANSING, Mich. — It’s a cold January day on the campus of Michigan State University. In the back of the computer lab in Bessey Hall is a skinny, young freshman from Detroit settling into his first computer class in his second semester of college. It’s 1998, and the internet and e-mail weren’t nearly as off-the-proverbial-chain as they are now. This class was actually teaching students how to SEND & RECEIVE e-mail along with how to create websites. Groundbreaking stuff for 1998 to be sure. As the young man settles in to his computer and is messing around on his favorite websites at the time, ESPN.com and wwf (now wwe).com, a very tall, and somewhat confused fellow freshman seems to be having a boatload of trouble with his computer.

Unfinished Business: Why My Biological Didn’t Bother…?

♣ Ever Had a Question That You Were Scared To Have Answered? ♣

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.

— Pope John XXIII

SOUTHFIELD, Mich. — As my 30th birthday rapidly approaches (September 5 is just 2½ weeks away), I have been very reflective about my life, my goals, my accomplishments, failures, and regrets. And while I didn’t think so when I was a teenager, I am certainly happy to have been raised by who I humbly consider the two best parents on the planet. Being raised by the combination of a teacher mom and a police officer dad in Detroit did wonders for me. I can modestly say I got my sensitivity, compassion, reasoning, and stubborness from my mom. My penchant for being a smart-ass, love for good music of any genre, appreciation for discipline, hard work, and importance of being a man come from my dad. They both have taught me to learn from the mistakes and failures of others, and wanted me to embrace my intelligence. I owe them everything. However, as most of my closer friends already know. The man I call my dad, is actually my stepfather, and that’s where the story begins.

Fear of a Black President: How Health Care and Fear Don’t Mix…

♦ This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things…♦

Often fear of one evil leads us into a worse.

—Nicholas Boileau-Despresaux

DETROIT — As I have spent the last couple of weeks being completely mesmerized by the clusterfudge that has become the debate turned debacle associated with the proposed health care bill, I cannot help but find a disturbing amount of humor in this entire thing. Most of you (well, the grown ups anyway) have seen the angry mob-like scenes at town hall meetings the past couple of weeks. Hordes of belligerent, angry White people frantically screaming at the top of their lungs about such big words as “Fascism”, and “Socialism”, and crying about how their rights are “being taken away from them” and my personal favorite: “I Want MY Country Back“. That last little ditty was shrieked at a town hall meeting in Arkansas. My initial response to all this buffoonery was “Are you (blank)ing kiddin’ me!?”